Changed and Confused
Published by The Guy Next Door under on 8:44 AM
It has been ages since I made an entry here. A more-than-a-month trip to exile (awesome), a 15-day home trip (more than awesome) and a lot of laziness from writing (or even logging in to my blog) made sure I stayed away from The Notebook. But today suddenly the writer inside me popped up, and here I am writing my blog. Things have changed since I last wrote here. World is warmer, inflation is higher, Common Wealth games are closer (and messier), situation in Kashmir is grimmer, I am older and my hair are gray(ier).
Jokes apart, some things have definitely changed. I got a brand new office with a brand new PC with a not so brand new table to work on. Talking of office, I no longer enjoy the cushion a newbie enjoys. Some serious stuff is expected out of me every time (well not everytime but most of the times) I enter into my workplace. I bought myself a new Nokia E63 and got myself rid of my good-for-radio-only Samsung gadget. Another of new thing is my Twitter account which I operate more frequently than this place (for obvious reason of Twitter being a "micro" blogging thing, so one being more frequent on it).
Apart from getting so many new things, I got one more thing. And that is confusion in my hitherto crystal clear mind. A few months back I was clear of what I wanted. The destination was defined, the path was laid down and the first gear was set in. Everything looked perfect. The journey was started well in time. Transition of gears from first to fifth was pretty smooth and satisfying. Milestones were reached at the due course of time and I was decently placed on my course. All "was" well.
Suddenly a turn came and it exhorted me to tread on it. Neither was it a short-cut nor was it a simpler or creative path towards my destination. It was a path for an altogether different destination. The turbulence in my brain set in. The mind, which was till now involved in calculating the distance remaining to the "old destination", was suddenly busy evaluating the pros and cons of treading on the "new destination". I tried to take the help from the passers-bye. This was more bewildering. Not because they praised their own destinations. But because they did exactly opposite. The one treading towards the "old" destination hailed the "new" and vice-versa. The directions were confusing. The road was becoming a maze.
And came another turn. And was in sight a "totally new" destination. A new path and new passers-bye. A new philosophy and a new confusion. And as if the worst (or perhaps the best, who knows) was still left, soon I could also see my "original point" from where I had started my journey, and I started evaluating that perhaps it wasn't too bad a place to leave for the "old", the "new" and the "totally new" destinations.
This day, I am back to square one, where four roads lead to four different directions. Unaware of which path to take. I am confused. Everyone of us faces this kind of dilemma many times in our lives when we are unable to take a decision either due to lack of knowledge or due to lack of courage. What to do and what not to do? Which path to take and which path to leave? It happens with everyone. And I am no different. This is not my first time. And I know it won't be my last either. But I hope I will come out of this dilemma someday. All I need is time. And till then I have decided to halt at the square.
PS- The last statement of the first paragraph about my hair is a joke for the sake of completing the sentence. I am still young, girls.
Jokes apart, some things have definitely changed. I got a brand new office with a brand new PC with a not so brand new table to work on. Talking of office, I no longer enjoy the cushion a newbie enjoys. Some serious stuff is expected out of me every time (well not everytime but most of the times) I enter into my workplace. I bought myself a new Nokia E63 and got myself rid of my good-for-radio-only Samsung gadget. Another of new thing is my Twitter account which I operate more frequently than this place (for obvious reason of Twitter being a "micro" blogging thing, so one being more frequent on it).
Apart from getting so many new things, I got one more thing. And that is confusion in my hitherto crystal clear mind. A few months back I was clear of what I wanted. The destination was defined, the path was laid down and the first gear was set in. Everything looked perfect. The journey was started well in time. Transition of gears from first to fifth was pretty smooth and satisfying. Milestones were reached at the due course of time and I was decently placed on my course. All "was" well.
Suddenly a turn came and it exhorted me to tread on it. Neither was it a short-cut nor was it a simpler or creative path towards my destination. It was a path for an altogether different destination. The turbulence in my brain set in. The mind, which was till now involved in calculating the distance remaining to the "old destination", was suddenly busy evaluating the pros and cons of treading on the "new destination". I tried to take the help from the passers-bye. This was more bewildering. Not because they praised their own destinations. But because they did exactly opposite. The one treading towards the "old" destination hailed the "new" and vice-versa. The directions were confusing. The road was becoming a maze.
And came another turn. And was in sight a "totally new" destination. A new path and new passers-bye. A new philosophy and a new confusion. And as if the worst (or perhaps the best, who knows) was still left, soon I could also see my "original point" from where I had started my journey, and I started evaluating that perhaps it wasn't too bad a place to leave for the "old", the "new" and the "totally new" destinations.
This day, I am back to square one, where four roads lead to four different directions. Unaware of which path to take. I am confused. Everyone of us faces this kind of dilemma many times in our lives when we are unable to take a decision either due to lack of knowledge or due to lack of courage. What to do and what not to do? Which path to take and which path to leave? It happens with everyone. And I am no different. This is not my first time. And I know it won't be my last either. But I hope I will come out of this dilemma someday. All I need is time. And till then I have decided to halt at the square.
PS- The last statement of the first paragraph about my hair is a joke for the sake of completing the sentence. I am still young, girls.
