Here I come to the much awaited post in "Humour" label. And though I have exceeded my broadband limit(which means I am paying 90paise for everyMB used) AND also have upgraded to 2.5 GB plan for the next month onwards (which means that it would cost me nothing if I write this blog just 24 hours later) STILL I couldn't hold myself to write this thing. You see, such is the topic that I have to get it out of me.

So Ladies and Gentlemen here comes the list of top 53 dialogues our bollywood can't do without.


First of all as soon as we enter the hall-

1. Vajradanti vajradanti vicco vajradanti; vicco powder vicco pasteeee. Auyurvedic jadi bootiyon se bana sampoorna swadeshi. Vicco powder vicco pasteeeee, vicco vajradantiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

And then the movie starts like this-

2. Aaj se kareeb (x) saal pehle.....

And when actor falls in love with actress, the conversation goes on like this-

3. Meri raaton ki neend aur din ka chain haraam ho gaya hai.
4. Main tumse bahut bahut pyaar karta hun.

To which actress replies-

5. Lekin maine tumhe kabhi us nazar se dekha hi nahi.

Some others are-

6. Driver gaadi roko.
7. Driver us gaadi ka peecha karo. Jaldi.

And when the villain tries to outrage the modesty of the actress, she pleads by saying-

8. Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do.

To which the villain promptly replies-

9. Itni acchi cheez bhagwan ke liye kaise chhod du??

Going ahead, actress gets pregnant and approaches the villain, with words that read-

10. Main tumhare bacchhe ki maa banne wali hun.

and the villain insults her by saying-

11. Na jane kiska paap apne pet mein liye ghoom rahi hain.

And sometimes he also suggets-

12. Gira de is bacchhe ko.

When someone is helped by someone, the former someone thanks the latter someone by saying-

13. Main tumhara ye ehsaan zindagi bhar nahi bhoolonga/bhoolongi.

To which the latter someone politely replies-

14. Ye to mera farz tha.

Some more famous lines being-

15. Main tujhe zinda nahi chhodunga.
16. Main tumhare liye aasmaan se tare tod kar la sakta hun.
17. Police ne tumhe chaaron taraf se gher liya hai. Ab tumhara bachna namumkin hai.
18. Apne aap ko kanoon ke hawale kar do.

When actor looses his memory, he says-

19. Main kaun hun?? Tum kaun ho??

Someone shows a pic to someone and asks-

20. Is tasveer ko dhyan se dekho aur batao-Kya tumne is aadmi ko pehle kabhi dekha hai??

When actor is in confusion about his priorities, he says-

21. Ab main kya karun?? Ek taraf gaon ki gori hai to doosri taraf sheher ki chhori.

And sometimes "sahaelis" of actress (who always keep laughing) warns her saying-

22. Ye shehri babu hain. Bach ke rahiyo inse.

An elderly priests points to and old temple on a moutaintop and says-

23. Is mandir mein sacche dil se jo bhi mannat mango wo awashya poori hoti hai.

Others include-

24. Apni maa se ye waada kar beta........

And pat comes the reply from our hero-

25. Main waada karta hun maa. Main waada karta hun (Observe-It has been said twice)

And after sometime-

26. Maaaaaaaaaaaa........ tu mujhe akela chhod kar nahin ja sakti maa.

and people standing at the background consoles our hero-

27. Bhagwan ko yehi manzoor tha.

Or the situation might be altogether different and doctor might also say something like-

27. Aap inhe sahi waqt par yahan le aaye. Agar thodi si bhi der ho jati to anarth ho jata.

Which results in following words-

28. Hey bhagwan tera lakh lakh shukra hai.

Some typical marriage dialouges-

29. Pandit jee, aap mantra padhiye.

And pat starts our punditjee-

30. Mangalam bhagwan vishnu mangalam garud dwajha(And after some two three dialouges ONLY)......Ab var vadhu ke gale mein mangalsutra daaliye.

But suddenly a voice echoes-

31. Thehrooooo. Ye shaadi nahin ho sakti.

And often you find bride's father on groom's father feet with his "pagdi" in his hand and uttering words like-

32. Meri izzat ab aapke haathon mein hai samdhi jee. Isse bacha lijiye.

But "samdhi" doesn't agree and starts backtracking. but suddenly a voice emerges from nowhere-

33. Thehroo. Baraat kahin nahi jaayegi. Main karoonga isse shaadi.

After some drama and mangalsutra process, the mother of the bride is explaining her-

34. Beti ab yehi tera asli ghar hai.

Other well-heard-of dialouges are-

35. Hey bhagwan. Maine tera kya bigaada tha??
36. Mere paas ek footi kaudi tak nahin hai.
37.Ye baat to maine sapne mein bhi nahi sochi thi. (Do we ever think while dreaming?? Don't know. Atleast I haven't)
38.Kya bakwaas kar rahe ho. agar dubara aisi baat ki to main teri zabaan kheench loonga.
39. Zabaan smbhal ke baat kar.
40. Sach keh raha hun huzoor, maine apni aakhon se dekha hai. ( Wonder who watches with other's eyes. Offcourse if they aren't donated one)
41. Nahinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
42. Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??????????????????????
43. Ruk jao, main kehta hun ruk jaao warna main goli chala dunga.
44. Dhishummmm, dhishummmmmmm.

And nowdays

45. Dhishkiyounnnnnn, dhishkiyounnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Sometimes when actor, defying his father's wishes, brings home the girl of his choice, his father seems to be the most angry person on this earth saying-

46. Maine tujhe padhya, likhaya, bada aadmi banaya. Apne pairon par khade hone layak banaya. Aur iska tune hume ye sila diya. Nikal jaaaaaa, main kehta hun nikal ja is ghar se.

To which the warm hearted mother asks-

47. Ye aap kaisi baatein kar rahe hain??Aakhir kahan jayega wo??

But our hero, unfazed by these moh-mayas replies-

48. Jahan kadam chal padenge wahin chala jaunga.

Sometimes, mothers get very inquisitive and asks-

49. Tujhe meri kasam Vijay, sach sach bata baat kya hai??

And when Vijay replies-

50.Hey bhagwan, ye din dekhne se pehle main mar kyun nahi gayi?? (She was the one who wanted to hear from Vijay)

When our hero approaches the girl's father, the father is in altogether different mood. He says-

51. Tum thehre gaon ke chhokre. Tum kya jano ki meri beti kis aish-o-aaram mein pali badhi hai
Tum kya jano?? Chale jao uski zindagi se. Keemat, jo tum bolo.

And he signs the blank cheque. But our hero denies by saying-

52. Thakur sahab, pyaar ki koi keemat nahi hoti.Main apne pyaar ko apni amanat samajh ke aapke paas chhod ke ja raha hun. Iska khayal rakhiyega.


And last but not the least-


53. THE END.

Of eight thousand three hundred and eighty six days of my life that I have lived till now, if someone gives my chance to relive ONE day, it would be THIS day of 2006.

Here comes the third in the series. And following the trend, this one is different from the last one. Today, I am in a philosophical mood.

By far, a lot has been said about life by a lot many.And a lot many would keep saying. Some consider it as a rat race meant to be won. Some consider it as a lemon race, who think that there is no point coming first if one has dropped his lemon (lemon being health, relationships blah blah). Some even consider it as a longest orgasm anyone can ever have (sorry if I am getting too explicit). These people are hedonists who consider that everything is meant to be enjoyed.So exactly what is life?

For me life is a sinusoidal curve with varying amplitude. There are times when you feel like you are THE happiest person around. And there are times when you feel that things couldn't have gone worse. Your coordinates on the X and Y axes define your reactions.

Everything looks so optimistic and hopeful in good times. You feel like you are the master of your destiny. You meet people and they become your friends. You make plans and they work. You make guesses and they work well. You try your luck and it pays. You climb the first half of the curve very fast. And you feel things would never gonna change AND you make THE mistake.

And soon, everything changes.

Till now, the same belie of yours, which had proved you right, suddenly, start collapsing. The world seems to be a totally different place. The situations change. And so do the people around you.You feel out of place. A yearning for the "past-perfect" does nothing to alleviate your pain. It only worsens it. As, recently, one of my friends said to me, "Past is never past". I read somewhere that a person's glorious past is his biggest sorrow. "How perfect things were" becomes more important than how present things are. Reminiscence becomes you enemy number 1.

But as I said-Soon, everything changes.

We humans are traveling towards our destination. We are shortsighted and can not look beyond a fixed point which MAY NOT be our destination (though, at times we feel like it is, but eventually it turns out that wasn't). But THE ALMIGHTY is sitting right at the top of the cliff beside our road. He knows from where we are coming and where we DESERVE (and not DESIRE) to go and accordingly designs the optimized curve for us.

Have we ever realized the petty things of the past, which would often give us a feel of this-shouldn't-have-happened, actually turned out to be blessings in disguise. Things like getting less numbers in class tests, getting scolded by parents, "India not winning the match"(especially for me, and for most of the guys) seemed to be so unlovable . But if I look now, had I not got myself accustomed to getting less numbers in school class tests, I wouldn't have been in a situation to complete my engineering. Had my parents not scolded me, I wouldn't have been the way I am. Had India not lost the match, it wouldn't have known the feeling of being numero uno after being at the bottom of the charts for long.

And similarly, today, the things we feel, that shouldn't have happened, would ultimately turn out to be blessings in future.

Life goes on. Sinusoidally.

As of now, I feel that I have completed one full wave of my life. An era has ended, and another has started. And as I said earlier, it has all the characteristics of a sine curve. The highest highs and the lowest lows. The agonies and the ecstasies. The curvy smiles and the misty eyes. The laughter and the weep. The should-haves and shouldn't-haves. But till now, I am contented with the curve I have drawn. For, I know that I have tried my best in whatever way I could have.

And I wish to do the same in the second wave that is coming towards me. Or am I going towards it??

Lets Wait and Watch.

Here comes my second post. As a novice, I want to start of with some "factual blogs". Slowly n steadily I would try to bring myriad of flavors to my blog. As of now, I wish to write about the city I live in (and the city I love)-Chandigarh.

THE HISTORY

In 1948, after the partition, the state of Punjab had lost its capital, Lahore, to Pakistan. And hence there was a need to carve out a new capital for the region. Of all the new town schemes in independent India, Chandigarh project assumed quite significance, due to its strategically important location as well as personal interest shown by the then Prime Minister Pundit Jawahar Lal Nehru. A French (Swiss born) architect Le Corbusier was pulled in the project. Today, all over the world ,Chandigarh is renowned for its architecture and urban planning. It also holds the enviable distinction of being the first planned city of India.

THE INFRASTRUCTURE

The city with 114 sq km area under its belt, has been meticulously divided into 47 sectors (there being no sector 13) spreading across 1200m n 800m in length and width respectively. Each sector has been made self sufficient in itself to accommodate the living , working and leisure requirements of the residents. Every sector has its own market(with cheap and sufficient parking space), worship places, beautiful and well maintained gardens. To deal with the problems of public nuisance ,adequate public conveniences and separate dumping grounds for garbage have been provided.

A hierarchy of roads run across the city . The highest connecting the city to the highways and the lowest STRICTLY meant for pedestrians and cycles. One would not find bugger potholes on the road and can enjoy traffic less, hustle free ride to one's destination.There are traffic signals and big plush green roundabouts at every alternate crossing. Giant green trees planted on both sides of the road provide solace to you in summers.

THE ADMINISTRATION

The administration of Chandigarh is one the toughests one would find in the country. The rules are made, and they are meant to be kept. The no-nonsense attitude of administration keeps the citizens in check. Overloading in vehicles is not allowed. As per the decree, both the driver of the two wheeler and the pillion rider, are required to be in helmet (that too ISI-approved ones). Bizarrely, women are exempted from this law. Proper surveillance is kept through CCTV cameras, PCR vans and vigilant policemen. Encroachment is something out of question. Construction of more than two-storey edifices ain't allowed. Blaring DJ's are put to silence after 10pm.


THE UNOFFICIAL

OK. Enough of formal informations. Lets get some informal. If you want to see REAL hot babes, Chandigarh is the place to be. Fair skinned, long haired, impeccably dressed mesmerizing beauties keep roaming at different places. And why only babes, dudes are no less. Tall, strong and handsome hunks majestically seated on their Royal Enfields can give any model a run for their money. The richest of the rich of Punjab, Haryana and Himachal live in plush houses (read palaces). No wonder Chandigarh has the highest per capita income in the entire country. If you have money in your pocket, and if you desire peace, Chandigarh is the place to be. No wonder it is called "The City Beautiful".

So this is it.My first blog, n my first post. Though I wanted to start this thing for so long, yet it took so much of time. But today I was determined to do it { like (N NOT UNLIKE ) many other days)}. I kept troubling my room-mates with pesky questions like what should be my blog's name (Damn. Is it mine or theirs??) n whether they would follow up soon or not. Ultimately i got the name (would come to that later) and only time would tell if they would join or not. But as of now I am done with the toughest part. The first step is the toughest one. Right???

Coming back to the name. I think its a decent one ( yes i know im blowing my own trumpet..but still). Not only its a simple one n synonymous to the word blog itself...but it also matches with the movie very close to my heart-The Notebook. The number 301 depicts my roll no(n more importantly my state of mind) in my college. N yaa....when people would "google" their laptop(notebook) queries , den even my blog would appear(I hope it does!!!). Marketing done too without any efforts (Did someone say Aamir Khan style??). So the name isn't a bad one.

Anyways....the blog has been created.What next??(A Deja Vu of what should be the name??).Sometimes, if you have noticed, we feel like we have so much to say, so much to do; but when the moment arrives, we are at a loss of words,a loss of feelings,a loss of anything and everything. Everything just goes blank. Doesn't it happen that you read of a wonderful website and you plan to open it the next time you are on net ; but when you actually are, you just don't remember the damn name. No, here I am NOT talking about FORGETFULNESS. For, to be in the state of forgetfulness you should REMEMBER that you have FORGOTTEN something. But here it seems that you have FORGOTTEN that you have FORGOTTEN something. Dick Chaney (Former Vice President, US) once said that in this world the magnitude of what we KNOW that we DONT KNOW is much less than that of what we DON'T KNOW that we DON'T KNOW. Do you know what am I talking about. Or wait, do even I know what am I talking about?? Arghhh...forget it.

Anyways, the world is a big place and there are n no. of topics on which it can be written about. (Don't believe?? Just see the last few lines of the above paragraph have been made out of nothing.) So just wait for the next post to be posted here. And in the meantime I'll treat myself for the job that I have done today.......OPENED UP THIS CORNER OF MINE.


MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!!